Dating with an Eternal Perspective 

       In today's digital world dating can feel overwhelming. It can feel casual and focused on superficial connections. This can be challenging for those who are seeking a strong faith built foundation, because dating takes on a deeper significance. It's important to remember that part of the work of dating and building a relationship starts before you even meet. 
    President Thomas S. Monson noted, “Decisions determine destiny. That is why it is worthwhile to look ahead, too set a course, to be at least partly ready when the moment of decision comes (Monson, 2004, p.4)." Knowing what you want in a marriage is beneficial before you start dating, it can help you to become the type of partner that you would also want to be married to. Part of becoming is realizing that all of the things that have happened in life previously will have an affect on your marriage, our experiences, family life, education, and mental health. In order to prepare for a relationship it would be helpful to take stock of where you are in these categories and work to fix what you can, and also appreciate and be grateful for the experiences that you have had to teach you. 
    
  


How do you know if you are ready to date? The first thing that normally comes up when you are interested in someone is physical attraction. This can be an important part of knowing that you are interested in someone, but definitely not the deciding factor. What besides physical attraction is important to look for? Elder Richard G. Scott suggested several essential attributes that bring happiness that we should look for in a potential mate. A possible mate should have “a deep love of the Lord and His commandments [and] a determination to live them.” A possible mate should also be “kindly understanding, forgiving of others, and willing to give of self, with the desire to have a family crowned with beautiful children and a commitment to teach them the principles of truth in the home (Scott, 1999, p.26)."
    The build up phase before starting a relationship includes a first date, as well as planned and paid for dates where a friendship is developed, romance follows. It's important during this phase to create a strong friendship while keeping appropriate boundaries in your physical relationship. This is also a great time to get to know each other's friends and families, a time when you both are contributing fully to the relationship, this is the process of developing a mature love for your partner. 
      After developing a mature love for one another thoughts and decisions about marriage happen. This can be an anxiety-provoking time due to oour understanding of marriage and eternal commitment as well as the tugs from the secular world and the physical emotions that come from romantic relationships. This is where it's important to work together to make a decision. There should be prayer, counsel, and much consideration between the two of you as you make this decision with Heavenly Father to start an eternal family (Hawkins et al., 2012, p. 22). 

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